Klingons for Obama
May 11, 2008 by Neil
If you rummage through the highbrow geekery of the US blogosphere as much as I do, you might find some chatter about how John McCain is secretly a Klingon. The implications of this are obvious: that both are aggressive, emotionally-stunted, warlike and born with an unhealthy fixation with their ‘honour’. In this blogger’s humble opinion, it’s a comparison that paints a misleading and unfair stereotype of the Klingon people.
Thankfully, Lt Worf - one of the all-time-greatest Klingons and a man who has seen similar adversity in his battle-scarred life - puts an end to such closed-minded bigotry by traveling back in time to endorse Barack Obama:
Surely, I am moved by the story of his humble origins, his absent Kenyan father, his mother working to make ends meet, and growing up without his father in an environment where his racial identity was unclear. After all, I, Lieutenant Worf, am a Klingon by birth, but raised by Caucasian humans, the Rozhenkos, on the farm world of Gault. So I know a little bit about absent fathers, and being a dark-skinned man, looked upon as an alien in a white world.
[...]
But there is more that I see in him. Just as the transcendental challenge of your time is Moslem extremism, so in my future it was the Borg. The Borg are as alien to us as bin Laden is to you. And if I, a Klingon by birth raised by Russian farmers, can command the Defiant in Admiral Hayes’ fleet against the Second Borg invasion and fight off the Borg’s would-be temporal sabotage, then I think Obama, with whom I have so much in common, can lead the fight against Islamofascism to a successful conclusion.
When you’ve lost the Klingon vote, you’re in danger of losing the entire Alpha Quadrant. The only way McCain beats this is if he wins the much sought-after Vulcan vote.
Update: Too late. Obama’s even got Spock’s endorsement. Perhaps McCain could try the Romulans?