Your Daily Wail: “Ungrateful, lucky-to-be-alive immigrant brat bashes Britain”

March 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm | Posted in The Daily Wail | Leave a comment
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The Wail

Emma Thompson’s ‘adopted’ Rwandan son moans about Britain’s ‘pathetic celebrity culture’. Five years ago, Emma and her actor husband Greg Wise, took Tindy, a former Rwandan child soldier, under their wing and paid for his education. And now, aged 20, he complains about life in Britain.

Translation:

Five years ago, this daftly-named darkie was saved from a future of bongo-bashing mud hut hell in Rwanda by kindly white actress Emma Thompson. Now, after snatching a university place that could’ve been taken by one of your children, the ungrateful ex-soldier takes aim at the political apathy and celebrity obsession that is every indigenous Briton‘s birthright! (And makes more people buy our paper than might otherwise if we only printed stories about house prices and how the Polish are all job-stealing, baby-frying ex-Trots).

More Wail: 

The refugee – who has managed to gain an unquestioned stay of leave in this country as an immigrant – also reveals that his surrogate parents are not his only high-profile associates. “I used to hold fortnightly chats about domestic and international issues with one of my political mentors, who happens to be a Cabinet secretary here in the UK,” he says. “I vividly remember how I used to whine a lot to him about the unimaginable widespread apathy among London students in my college.

Translation:

Yes, not only does this refugee and former child killer throw our traditional British hospitality back in our faces by assassinating the character of Britain-born British Brits, the kill-happy little hypocrite also exploits his high-profile connections to ensure he’s never deported for crimes against gratitude!

The Wail’s readers respond:

It seems funny for someone who is so unimpressed by this country, that he is in no hurry to go back to Rwanda.
– Adam, London

What an ungrateful little idiot. Love it or leave it.
– Ant, England

Talk about being ungrateful.
– Ace, New York, USA

Perhaps he should go back to Rwanda and tell his friends back home how good they have it there and that none of them should come to terrible England.
– James Bevan, Harrow, England

No translation necessarily

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