Prisoners treated like shit. Literally.

July 22, 2008 at 6:58 am | Posted in British Politics, New Labour, Prison Reform | 4 Comments

Just another day in the cushy life at Her Majesty’s Holiday Inn:

Some prisoners are living and sleeping in toilets because of jail overcrowding, a report says. HM Inspectorate of Prisons found Doncaster jail held almost 200 more inmates than it had been intended for. Two-man cells had been turned into three-man cells by putting an extra bed in the toilet area.

Fuck it, why not just remove the beds? Just think of the number of prisoners you could pack into a single cell if you did away with all that politically-correct ‘human rights’ nonsense and just had them sleeping top-to-toe on a cold, hard floor. After all, prisoners can’t vote, so it’s not like they’re people or anything.

Meanwhile, a separate report from the Commons justice committee says the government’s sentencing policies are adding to overcrowding in prisons.

I know, it just beggars belief that a government which deeply considers the consequences of each proposal would be somehow exacerbating the problem. Understandably, this Justice Minister is having none of it:

But Justice Minister David Hanson said: “Thanks to the policies of this government since 1997, crime has fallen dramatically.

“This is the only post-war government to have overseen a cut in crime rather than an increase. We are unapologetic about our approach to law and order: it has made our communities safer and there is no greater priority for government.

“Prison sentences which punish and reform, not least through education and training, are a vital part of a justice strategy which has helped this fall in crime.”

Phew! Okay, so people are forced to sleep where they might usually go for a shit, but only because they’re Evil-Doers who – when they’re not being forced to sleep where they might usually go for a shit – are given all the skills and education needed to cure their rotten, wicked minds. Which is all very reasonable, I suppose. Providing you ignore this

Building more prisons will result in a huge rise in the proportion of criminals who reoffend, a criminology expert has said.

A study by Dr Carol Hedderman, a former senior Home Office researcher, has shown a direct relationship between the expansion of the prison population and the growth in the percentage of prisoners reconvicted within two years of leaving jail.

Britain’s prison population has increased by more than a third in the past decade. At the same time, the percentage of prisoners committing offences within two years of leaving has surged from just over half to almost two-thirds.

Okay, but there could still be a perfectly reasonable explanation for why this is absolutely none of the government’s fault. Like… thanks to climate change and alcopops, Britian is now breeding more and more irredeemably evil people than ever before and it’s only through ‘get tough’ sentencing that these Burberry inbreds can become Proper Citizens. Come of Dr Hedderman, prove me right:

Dr Hedderman believes that the reason prison numbers are rising is that people are being put behind bars for more minor offences. According to her research, this trend has led to the vast increase in reoffending, because prisoners in jail for lesser crimes serve shorter sentences.

She argues that these brief spells in prison are long enough to disrupt the lives of offenders and put them in contact with more serious criminals, but too short to allow them to benefit from the education or training available in jail.

“The people who used to be fined are now getting community penalties, and the people who used to get community penalties are now going for short prison sentences – it’s all shifted along,” she said.

Oh, I give up.



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  1. Hey, nice tips. I’ll buy a glass of beer to that man from that forum who told me to visit your site :)

  2. Hey I just love what you wrote!
    I was laughing at every statements that you’ve made
    Great article ;)

  3. =[

  4. im pretty sure u cant live in a fuckin tiolet

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