Snow blogging!February 3, 2009 at 6:40 pm | Posted in Misc. | Leave a comment
I was many things in my adolescent fantasies: singer in a boyband, thespian, Bill Gates-style computer genius, ace footballer, manager of both England and Barnsley on Championship Manager, a chart-topping songwriter who’d written both OK Computer AND Morning Glory, and captain of the USS Enterprise. But one thing I never – even at the height of my daydreaming powers – pretended to be was someone with a shred of artistic ability. Sure, I could write reasonably well and knew the chords to Wonderwall (though, frankly, who didn’t?), but visual art? The kind of thing people would look at and admire? Never. That should tell you how bad I am.
This lack of talent and confidence – coupled with the fact that my brother preferred sledging – is probably why I’d never built a snowman. I’d dabbled here and there – made the odd torso, tried to shape the perfect head – but I’d either get frustrated, called away or find some runny-nosed thug putting a boot through it (it’s a wonder I didn’t become a Littlejohn-style authoritarian). Anyway, you ‘grow up’, the whole enterprise loses its allure and then you wake up one morning and realise you’re 24 and don’t have a single snowman to your name. If nothing else, it’s good experience in case I ever become a parent.
So somewhere between the hours of 1530 and 1630, I began to put that right. In a manner of speaking:
It doesn’t have a name, it’s got an unfortunate bulge at the side of it’s head, and just seconds after this picture was taken, it had to be rushed into surgery to fix the nose, but apart from that, I’d say (s)he turned out pretty well. I’ll tell you what; doing this alone, without the fear of having it mocked or kicked by some fat 10-year-old, is an absolute pleasure. Seriously, the charms are lost on children.